The Jacket
by weebee
Summary: Ryoga accidentally stumbles upon a magical item. Bad things happen.


The Jacket, By Weebee.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma One-Half or Buffy. Oh, and if you're reading for the Buffy, I'd advise against it since I'm only using one magical artifact from the series.

This fic is almost entirely Jonakhensu's fault, so if you don't like it, flame him. If you do however, make sure to tell me how awesme my writing is, because all of the writing was mine. MINE, I TELL YOU!!! MINE!

The Jacket.

Ryoga Hibiki grunted his way down the cavernous hallway, irritated and depressed, as always. He was a pig, again, and this time had been due to his own stupidity. Well, in his own defense, he really couldn't have had any idea that the curved, plastiform wall that had been in front of him was the outer wall of a pool, but he'd found out quickly when he'd tried breaking through it.

By the time the massive rush of water had finished with him, he'd found himself blown several meters away from where he'd started, and when he'd tried to make his way back to his pack and clothes, he'd somehow ended up in a closet.

So now, here he was, walking through an unfamiliar house in search of some hot water. Grunting again, the tiny pig found himself wandering into a western style bathroom, and couldn't help but smile. All he had to do was work one of the taps, and he could continue on his way, finding ways to crush Saotome and win Akane… or, well, at least wipe that damned arrogant smirk off of Ranma's face, since he'd given up on Akane, mostly, since the failed wedding.

Coiling his hind legs beneath his body, the tiny black pig catapulted himself over the edge of the bath tub, managing to catch himself on the faucet at its front. Within moments, he'd managed to work the hot water tap, and a now human Ryoga was sprawled out on the bottom of the tub, his head ringing from where he'd fallen on it while shifting forms.

Scrambling out of the tub, the lost boy was about to proceed on his way, when he made a horrible realization. He'd gotten lost since he'd last had his backpack and clothes. Usually, this didn't happen, since he usually got splashed in such a way that he was left close to them, or was able to find his way to the Tendo home, where Kasumi was always willing to provide an extra set of clothes for him, but this time he'd gotten lost, and he was stuck in what looked like an American house. He couldn't go out like this, especially since the last time he'd done so, he'd ended up being thrown in prison for two weeks for public indecency.

Looking around the room for a solution, the pig-cursed martial artist saw a set of crumpled and dirty clothes resting on the floor under the sink. Sighing in relief, he picked up the shirt, a thick, red and white jacket with the letter S emblazoned on the front left side, and checked to see if it fit.

Five minutes later, the lost boy had completely suited up in a pair of loose jeans, a belt, and the afore-mentioned jacket, and left about 10,000 Yen, kept folded in his bandanna for emergencies, as repayment.

Tugging down the base of the jacket, the lost boy headed out of the bathroom, and walked right into a rather startled looking blonde man with unusually pale skin. "Oh, um, Hello." He said, nervously, laughing a little.

The blonde man narrowed his eyes, and within moments, had whipped some sort of wooden projectile from out of nowhere and stabbed at Ryoga with it. "Hey, I'm sorry, but I really needed the clothes, and…" Ryoga tried to explain, but the man didn't seem to hear, trying to stab him with what he could now tell was a wooden stake as he lurched out of range.

Ryoga sighed. He didn't really want to do what he was about to, since in this instance, even he could see what the situation looked like, but this guy apparently wouldn't listen to reason. Heaving back with his right arm, Ryoga reached up with his left, catching an incoming stab with the stake, before letting fly with a punch to the ribs that picked the other up and let him fly about five feet.

Wincing, the lost boy walked over and bent down to check the other's pulse. Not finding one, his heart clenched, thinking he'd just killed someone, when the other's hand reached up and grabbed him by the collar. Gasping in shock, the martial artist jerked backwards, freeing himself, and started running. He wasn't a coward, definitely, but dealing with zombies wasn't at all his idea of fun, especially if they infected through cuts, or something.

HR.

Spike groaned to himself, rubbing his jaw as he hauled himself to his feet. "Oy, that guy's got one hell of a right hook." He muttered, and then frowned. Unfortunately, he also had the jacket that he was trying to recover, which was bad news.

Judging by the other's fangs and strength, he was a demon of some sort, and a pretty powerful one, too. Cursing, the blonde haired man started looking around the house for his opponent, stake held at the ready.

Unfortunately, several minutes later, he hadn't found a single trace of his opponent, save for water in the bottom of the tub that seemed to imply that he'd taken a bath, for some reason.

"No one's gunna believe this," He mumbled, and started out of the house. It would be just his luck if the residents returned while he was searching. Unfortunately, what he'd found was rather disturbing. A vampire had made off with a letter jacket that caused anyone of the opposite sex to fall madly in love with him, which meant that feeding would be a lot easier for him from now on, and that Spike would likely be set to hunt the bastard down, since he'd let him escape. "Shit…" He mumbled, heading back to Xander's apartment.

HR.

Kasumi hummed to herself softly as she hung the clothes out to dry in the Tendo backyard. So far, today had been a relatively quiet one, and without having to worry about cleaning up any of Ranma's friends' new messes, she'd been able to enjoy a relatively relaxing morning.

As she secured the last of the laundry, one of Mr. Saotome's gi tops that she'd finally managed to clean, she heard the sound of stone crumbling. For the barest instant, annoyance flitted across her face, but she quickly suppressed it as she turned towards the sound. "Oh, hello Ryoga-kun." She said, surprised to see the lost boy. He'd been here only a few days before, and it was rather rare that he showed up so quickly after a duel with Ranma. "I'm sorry, but Ranma's at school right now."

"It's all right, Kasumi." The lost boy said. "Can I wait here for him?"

Kasumi nodded, before heading over to the hole the lost boy had created and sighing. For one of the very few times in his life, Ryoga noticed the small dismayed expression, and frowned. "Um, I'm sorry about the wall." He muttered, sheepishly. He had been busting through walls a lot lately, and it had seemed to bring him nothing but trouble so far. "Can I help fix it?"

Kasumi pondered for a moment, and then smiled. "Yes, if you would." She said, and started for the house. Seeing that he was starting off in another direction, she gently reached out and rested a hand on his arm. For a moment, something like a tingling sensation ran up her arm, but she shook her head and started leading Ryoga towards the back of the Dojo, where the building supplies were.

HR.

A little over two hours later, Ryoga gently lowered the last brick into place, letting it sink securely into its slot. Looking up, he saw that Kasumi's face was only a few inches away from his, and jerked back slightly. "There, I think that's it!" He said, blushing a little at the closeness.

"Thank you, Ryoga. Usually Ranma or Akane helps me, but…" Kasumi said, and then stepped forward, resting a hand on his arm. "Neither of them are nearly as good at carrying heavy loads as you are."

Ryoga sweat-dropped, and Kasumi seemed to notice. "Are you hot, Ryoga-kun?" She asked, concerned. "I can go in and get some water, if you'd like."

Ryoga nodded, and followed Kasumi as she entered the house. As he settled down at the table in the tea room, he couldn't help but think for a moment that the brown haired girl had been flirting with him a bit outside. He briefly let this thought flit around in his mind, imagining Kasumi hugging him a bit more, before shaking his head violently. 'No, I've got Akane, I mean Akari, I…'

"Ryoga, are you all right?" Kasumi's voice interrupted his thinking, and he looked up at her with a burning face.

"I… I'm fine." He squeaked, and then noticed the water in her hand. "Thank you." Taking the glass, he drank it quickly, in order to minimize the risk of it triggering his curse.

Kasumi nodded, settling into a seat next to him at the table and placing her own cup of tea in front of her.

"I should probably go find Ranma." The lost boy said, preparing to stand.

"Oh, no!" Kasumi exclaimed, surprising even herself. "I… how was your last trip?"

Ryoga blinked. Someone wanted to know about his travels? Usually, the only ones to ask him that sort of thing were Akane or Ranma, who was obviously teasing every time he did so. "After I left last time," He started, not mentioning that it had been after a thorough clock cleaning by Ranma, I went to an unusual village, I think it was somewhere in Germany…"

As the bandana clad boy told his story, the eldest Tendo started moving towards him, so slowly that no one could really notice what was happening. Eventually, it had gotten to the point where the brown haired girl was leaning her head against his shoulder, but it had happened so subtly, so gently, that he didn't realize what was going on until someone interrupted.

It was right at the end of the story of his encounter with the group of Americans with the talking dog, when someone else walked into the room. Ryoga was lost in his reminiscences, and Kasumi was hanging off of his every word, so neither of them had noticed the door opening.

"Kasumi?" Akane Tendo's startled voice rang through the room, snapping both of them out of their respective trances. Once he noticed the position he was in, however, Ryoga quickly realized why the youngest Tendo was so startled. Kasumi was currently nestled up against his side, hugging his arm and with her head resting on his shoulder.

Within seconds, the lost boy was up, and his hands were waving. "Akane? I… I was just talking to your sister, that's it, telling her stories, and… hahahaha.." He trailed off his nervous laugh, however, when he saw that Kasumi was giving him a hurt look. "I… I've got to go find Ranma now!" He said, and then charged out of the room.

Looking after him, Akane blinked in confusion. She could have sworn that she'd seen Kasumi and Ryoga in an intimate position. This was odd, since she was pretty sure that they hardly ever talked. "What was that all about?" She asked, blinking.

"Akane, why did you interrupt us?!" Kasumi exclaimed, walking up to her sister with a scowl on her face that Akane hadn't seen since she was seven.

"I… I'm sorry, I didn't know you and Ryoga were…" The younger girl said, confused.

Kasumi sighed, and seemed to reign in her emotions. "We aren't." She finally said, regaining something similar to her original calmness. "But I almost wish…"

Akane just blinked. "You okay, sis?" She asked, worriedly. She hoped that Kasumi wasn't falling for Ryoga. After all, he was lost all the time, so the relationship would never work. Besides which, he was hers.

HR.

Ryoga stood in front of the Tendo Dojo, shaking. He'd just been hugged. More importantly, he'd been hugged by a pretty and nice girl, and she'd been pressing up against his arm. The lost boy stomped on that thought quickly, before it could cause an explosive nosebleed. Still, even if he didn't think of the specifics, why had Kasumi reacted like that? She was always taking care of the Tendo place, and from what he'd heard she liked that doctor who used to practice around here.

The doctor had moved away several months ago, and she had definitely been cuddling with him. No! She must have just been getting comfortable. It was absolutely impossible that she could like him, wasn't it? Besides, he already liked Akane, erm, Akari. Growling in irritation, the lost boy walked a little down the street, before latching onto a pole at the side of the road and smashing his skull against it. "Damn it, what am I thinking? Three girls? Then I'd be no better than that slime Saotome, or Kuno! What's wrong with me!"

After this rant, the martial artist staggered away from the now half-demolished pole, even his hard head throbbing from the punishment. "That… was stupid." He mumbled, wincing.

"What'd ya do this time, P-chan?" Came a far too cheerful male voice from the wall beside him. Spinning, Ryoga saw Ranma sitting casually there, smirking down at him.

"Saotome!" The lost boy roared, charging at the wall. Ranma nimbly jumped aside as he smashed through it, landing with very little effort.

"Yeah, was hopin ya wanted ta spar." He quipped, getting into a seemingly relaxed stance. Ryoga himself couldn't help but be relieved, as fighting Ranma was a far better way to take his mind off of the weirdness that had just happened than giving himself a concussion. Reaching to his forehead, the larger boy removed a bandanna, chucking it at Ranma, who nimbly jumped aside.

HR.

Five minutes later, Ryoga had been admirably distracted, and Nerima had taken another several hundred thousand yen worth of property damage. The two had gone from the Tendo place to the school, where Ranma had ended up falling in the swimming pool, and were now making their way towards the shopping districts. "C'mon Ryoga, yer getting way too slow!" The smaller redhead said, laughing and sticking her tongue out at her enemy.

"Yeah, keep laughing, Ranma! I'll shut you up!" Ryoga countered, jumping at her and swinging with one fist. Ranma nimbly jumped out of the way, but when Ryoga's fist impacted, he used it to swing around, grappling Ranma's legs with his own. An instant later, when Ranma had frozen up for a moment for some reason, the brown haired boy managed to swing his arms up from his current position, locking her in a bear hug.

"I've got you now, Saotome." He said, gleefully. He knew that Ranma's cursed form was weaker than his male form, and this particular hold had been very hard for male Ranma to break only a week before.

As the two sat in that position, Ranma straining at the lock Ryoga had around her shoulders and legs, the lost boy noticed that the redhead's face was turning red, and her breathing was becoming heavier. 'Yes, I've almost got him!' he thought, just waiting for Ranma to finally admit defeat as he tightened his grip.

Unfortunately for him, Ranma wasn't out of tricks yet, and managed to huddle her shoulders inward enough to slip out of his grasp. He tried his best to regain at least part of the hold, but ended up tightly squeezing something soft and squishy instead. "What the hell are you doing?!" Ranma screeched, and within an instant, her aura had exploded around her.

Ryoga didn't see the mallet coming.

Ranma stood in the middle of the road, panting slightly. "What the hell was that?" She muttered, feeling the heat fade from her face. She'd been fighting Ryoga, as was normal, until he got her into that last hold, and then… she wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but it was like her entire body was getting hotter for no real reason, and she kept wanting to imagine the other boy without his clothes on. As she thought back on that, she let her mind linger on one of those images for a few moments, and felt her face heat up again before shaking her head violently.

"I need ta get some hot water." She muttered, starting towards the Tendo home, and trying to avoid thinking about the tingling feeling on her skin everywhere she'd touched Ryoga. Still, she couldn't help but think that maybe the other was perfecting some new technique, in which case she would have to fight him again… soon.

HR.

At the Neko-Hanten, Shampoo danced gracefully through the front room of the restaurant, carefully setting bowls on the tables of waiting customers. She had asked her great grandmother to give her the afternoon off to go visit Ranma, but the older woman had told her that she should still stay clear. She'd been told to stay clear since the failed wedding, and it was driving her just a bit stir crazy.

Wasn't it her right to go see her Husband? Especially after he'd gone and tried to marry another girl? As she thought about this, unthinkingly setting another bowl of Ramen on someone's table, she heard a familiar sound. Outside of the restaurant's open front doors, a crash echoed. It was one she recognized quite well, and which filled her heart with joy.

"Airen!" She called, charging out into the street with a single bowl balancing on her head. Much to her disappointment, it wasn't Ranma laying in the crater in the middle of the street, but Ryoga. "Stupid pig boy." She muttered, looking down at him, but then a wave of pity seemed to come over her. She knew that Ryoga was very rarely in a situation that would cause him to go flying like this, and wondered what on earth could cause it.

Bending down, the Chinese Amazon easily picked the much heavier martial artist up, dragging him into the Neko-Hanten by the collar. Setting him down in a chair at an empty table, she looked into his eyes and noted that he was stunned, rather than unconscious. "Lost boy, you all right?" She asked, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

"Huh?" He asked, looking confused. After taking a few moments to process where he was, he continued. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"How you end up in street?" Shampoo asked, curiously.

"Um, I was fighting Ranma, and then he smacked me with a mallet." He mumbled, as if not really believing it himself. He decided not to include the fact that he'd been groping Ranma's cursed form's breast at the time. It was an accident, after all.

The blue haired girl frowned. "That not nice." She said, feeling angry at Ranma for his actions. She knew that Ranma and Ryoga fought all the time, but this time seemed different, for some reason. "You like Ramen on house, this time?" She offered, and then removed the bowl that was still on her head.

"Oh, thanks." Ryoga replied, accepting the food and eating it greedily. Shampoo watched, pleased that he was enjoying the food.

HR.

Kasumi looked up from pealing vegetables for dinner, as Ranma walked into the Tendo home's kitchen in his cursed form. The young martial artist appeared rather flustered, and her face was a little red as she walked towards the eldest Tendo sister. "Hello, Ranma." She greeted, calmly.

"Hey Kasumi, you got any hot water?" The redhead asked.

Kasumi shook her head. "There's none boiling now, and the water heater's broken down again."

Ranma nodded, though her agitation got slightly worse, before she walked over to a cupboard over the stove, withdrawing a kettle from it and filling it with water. "Is something wrong, Ranma-kun? You don't look very well." Kasumi offered, before going back to her work.

"Yeah, I'm fine Kasumi." Ranma mumbled, uncomfortably. "Ryoga's just got a really weird new technique, 'n I'm tryin ta figure out how to counter it."

Unseen by the pigtailed martial artist, Kasumi had tensed up a little at Ryoga's name. "So… you fought with Ryoga today?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ranma replied, deciding that watching the water boil was just going to make it take longer, and taking a place next to Kasumi peeling the vegetables. He could have used his Chi to heat the water quickly, but the last time he'd done that he'd ended up scortching the kettle's sides, and Kasumi had served him small portions for a week. "It was a pretty good match for a while, but then Ryoga started doin… somethin… to me through his aura."

At an interrogative noise from Kasumi, Ranma continued. "It started when I first shifted ta girl form. Started feelin kinda warm all over, and I kept thinkin 'bout how I shouldn't be trying to hurt him, and stuff." She shuddered. "Then, well, I started… remember what ya told me 'bout girls, 'n…" She trailed off, mumbling.

Kasumi's finger slipped, and the peeler in her hand cut into it, causing a trickle of blood and a soft gasp. "Kasumi, you okay?" Ranma asked, looking at the other girl worriedly.

"Y… yes, I'm fine." The brown haired girl said, quickly wrapping her finger in a cloth that had been laying next to the sink. "That does sound like a distressing technique, but I doubt Ryoga was doing it intentionally."

"Dunno." Ranma said, shrugging. "Really threw off my rhythm for most of the fight, though."

Kasumi nodded, distractedly, as Ranma picked up the now gently steaming kettle and dumped a small amount of the water over one hand. As he changed back, the remnants of the odd feelings he'd been getting since the fight with Ryoga seemed to fade away, along with the omni-present light blush.

"It could be another artifact." Kasumi said, quietly.

"What?" Ranma asked, confused.

Kasumi winced. She had evidently not meant to say that out loud, but now that Ranma had caught it, she continued. "Perhaps Ryoga has accidentally picked up an artifact that caused you to react like that." She explained. "It's definitely something that you shouldn't feel around him."

"What, ya mean he did… that… intentionally, just ta get an advantage?" Ranma asked, starting to look annoyed.

"No!" Kasumi said, quickly, jumping to Ryoga's defense with a vehemence that surprised Ranma. "I… I mean, well, he could have picked up something by accident. It happens a lot around here." She finished, much more quietly. "Was he wearing or carrying anything unusual?"

Ranma shrugged. "All he had was a new set of clothes." He replied. "But then, he has ta swipe clothes a lot when he's lost his normal ones." He snickered for a moment, recalling the time the lost boy had shown up in a bright red trench coat. Shaking his head, he brought himself back to the topic at hand. "I didn't see anythin that could be magic, and with how it effected me, it's almost like he was twistin my emotions ta make me feel…" He growled.

"you use the same sort of tactics against opponents sometimes, though, right?" Kasumi asked, trying to divert Ranma's obviously growing anger.

The boy nodded, but then frowned. "Yeah, but I don't use magic or mind altering Chi techniques or whatever the hell that was in order ta do it." He grumbled, then cracked his knuckles.

The pigtailed martial artist had always hated that sort of thing, and now that his mind wasn't clouded anymore, it made a strange sort of sense. He'd started having trouble fighting Ryoga after he'd changed into a girl, and then there had been… He shuddered again. Some of the stuff he'd started thinking about wasn't worth recalling. This, quite obviously, pissed him off.

Yes, he'd gotten somewhat used to turning into a girl every day or two, but that had been after almost two years without the curse screwing with his mind. Mentally 'going girl' was still one of his deeper fears. "I gotta go find a pig." He snapped, leaving the kitchen.

"But, Ranma…" Kasumi said, and then frowned deeply.

HR.

Ryoga winced and ducked out of the way as Shampoo sent a knife hurtling past his head. He wasn't entirely sure how this had happened, but one thing was for sure, he was absolutely petrified. He'd just been talking to the young Amazon, when she'd glomped onto him, and he'd suddenly found out why Ranma had so much trouble getting her off. He'd tried asking her why she was doing it, but she hadn't replied, and he'd ended up ducking out of her grip.

Unfortunately, she had apparently not liked that, and had attacked him, saying something about outsider laws shortly after. This was why he was currently running as if the hounds of hell were on his heals. In this case, it was more like the cat of the Amazons, and Mousse had joined her in her pursuit, saying something about anyone who attacked Shampoo automatically drawing his wrath.

He'd tried to tell the other boy that he hadn't done anything to Shampoo, but Mousse had acted deaf as well as blind, and kept right on chasing. "Why did that idiot have to join in rather than listening to me?" He mumbled, Unknowingly causing a sneezing fit in a boy who was hunting for him half way across the city.

He was taken from his thoughts, however when a chain impacted into his back, sending him stumbling forward. Grunting in annoyance, he grabbed the metal blade on the end before it could retract, and yanked hard enough to send Mousse slamming into a wall.

Coming to a stop, he noted that his new jacket now had a small slash along the back, but then realized that he probably shouldn't have stopped, as he felt lithe, well-muscled and very feminine arms wrapping around him from behind. "You defeat Shampoo, yes?" A voice breathed in his ear, and he gulped.

"W… why are you hugging me?" He squeaked. "I thought you liked Ranma?"

"Shampoo Amazon, Shampoo share." She chirped, nibbling on his ear.

"Guh?" Ryoga articulated, falling backwards from a copiously bleeding nose, due to the fact that Shampoo was now pressing most of her body against his back.

"This hurt." The young Amazon groaned, from where she lay beneath the lost boy.

Within a few moments, Shampoo could hear footsteps coming down the street, though she still couldn't see due to Ryoga's body being in the way. Not that she really minded laying under him, though it was getting hard to breath.

"Wow, Ryoga. What happened to you?" The Amazon heard the unmistakable Osaka dialect of Ukyo Kuonji, before Ryoga was pulled off of her and sat up slightly.

Ukyo knelt down, looking into the lost boy's eyes. "Wow, sugar, did Ran-chan flash you again?" The Okonomiyaki chef laughed, before hearing the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her.

"Hey, Shampoo." She said, looking over at the Amazon. "You know what happened to Ryoga?"

"You stay away, spatula girl!" Shampoo snapped, pulling a sword from nowhere and pointing it squarely at Ukyo's chest.

"Huh?" The other asked, blinking stupidly. "Why? It's just Ryoga." She questioned.

"Ryoga is Shampoo's!" The purple haired girl proclaimed, confidently.

Ukyo just looked at her, not comprehending, for a moment before scowling. "You're already trying to marry Ran-chan, does this mean you're giving up on him?"

"Shampoo take both!" The girl said, imperiously.

Ukyo snorted. Normally, she would let the other go along with an idea like this, because it was so stupid that it would alienate Ranma, but for some reason, this time, even letting the Chinese girl get her claws on Ryoga made her uncomfortable. "What, will you call yourself the Purple Rain of the Joketsuzoku next?" She asked.

Shampoo's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You take back!"

Unseen by either girl as they set themselves for combat, Ryoga had managed to regain consciousness, and was creeping off down the street. Now was his chance to get away… then he'd have to go pound Ranma. This kind of crap was almost always his fault in the end, so he likely deserved it.

Just before the lost boy successfully got himself lost, he heard the loud "Kya!" and clash of metal that indicated heated combat behind him.

HR.

"Shampoo?" The purple haired girl's consciousness slowly returned, and she felt her head throbbing with pain. "Shampoo, you okay?" Slowly, she let her eyes open, the world coming into focus from a collection of blurs. Her Airen was kneeling above her, a concerned look on his face that made her heart speed up slightly

"Where spatula girl?" She managed to say, wincing as the jaw motion caused her head to ache more.

"Uk-chan?" Ranma asked, confused. "What's she got ta do with this?" Shaking his head, he gently guided her to a sitting position, letting her get a look around. She was still laying in the street where she and Ukyo had fought over Ryoga, after the cross-dressing chef had managed to get a lucky hit in with her spatula. Unfortunately, both Ukyo and Ryoga were gone.

"Spatula girl not important." She said, quickly. "What about Ryoga?"

Ranma blinked, then his eyes narrowed. "Yer lookin for the pig bastard too?" He asked, simply.

Shampoo's eyes also narrowed. She knew that Ranma and Ryoga didn't like each other, but her Airen was almost never that irritated with anyone, other than his father, of course. "Look, stay away from Ryoga, okay? He's got some weird new technique, or magic, or somethin. I gotta go beat the secret outta him." The pigtailed boy explained.

"You not fight him!" Shampoo exclaimed, hopping to her feet and wincing as the world spun around her.

"Huh?" Ranma asked.

"You not hurt Ryoga!" Shampoo said. "Promise Shampoo."

Ranma frowned. "Look, even if he ain't doin it intentionally, and I really doubt that, Ryoga and I don't exactly get along. We're gunna have ta fight."

Shampoo shook her head, and was about to attack her Airen, when her dizziness got the better of her and she stumbled forward. Ranma was there immediately to grab her. "Wow, yer a lot more messed up than I thought." He said. "I'll get ya back ta the Neko-Hanten before I keep lookin."

Shampoo only nodded, letting herself relax slightly as Ranma supported her with one arm, starting towards the restaurant. Still, her mind was whirling as they moved. She couldn't let Ranma beat up Ryoga, but she also didn't have the strength to fight Ranma. Plus, she didn't want to make Ranma angry at her, either.

Letting her vision trace along the scenery as the two walked down the street, she noticed that they were walking next to a canal, and began to have an idea. Through gradual stumbling and lurching to one side, the Amazon Warrior was able to get them close to the fence. When she saw a gap where Ranma had previously broken it, she threw her whole weight into him, and the two went over with a massive splash.

As they emerged from the water, Ranma sputtered and spat water from her mouth. "Great, just my lu…" She started, before feeling something clinging to the back of her shirt. She immediately went rigid, feeling the claws that ever-so-slightly sank into her soft flesh.

Jumping about fifteen feet, the young martial artist landed on the sidewalk and started running in circles, but the cat kept right on clinging to her back. "Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!" She screamed, for a bit over forty five seconds, before sinking to the ground, whimpering.

On her back, Shampoo felt rather guilty about what she was doing, but knew that Neko-Ranma usually went to find Akane after being triggered, and took a bit over an hour to come out of the cat state. At the very least, it would likely ensure that Ryoga had gotten far away, and Ranma would think that her actions were the panicked ones of a nearly drowning cat… she hoped.

Within seconds of that last thought, Ranma's cat self took control, pulling herself up on all fours. The cat then yowled loudly, rolling onto its side to dislodge the thing on its back, and bounded away.

HR.

"I hate my life." Ryoga had expressed that sentiment several times before, but none had seemed so apt as this time. He'd been wandering for over an hour since escaping the fight between Shampoo and Ukyo, and since then, he'd definitely confirmed that something was going on. It seemed that it was getting more severe as the day went on, since, unlike the several hours he'd spent with Kasumi, Shampoo had started to show signs within half the time, and when he'd tried to ask a girl directions five minutes earlier, she'd dissolved into a sputtering mess and he'd just started running.

Oddly enough, that last girl had been Tendo Nabiki, whom he'd met in front of some sort of music store, and he could have sworn that she wouldn't have fallen under the effects of whatever had happened to him. Still, maybe, if it had worked on her… he could go and see Akane, and she would actually love him, rather than Ranma!

He briefly let fantasies of being with Akane cloud his vision, and found that he'd once again changed scenery, but fortunately he was pretty sure he was still in Tokyo. Now, he'd decided, he would head for the Dojo and find Akane, then confront Ranma and make him get rid of whatever he'd done.

Unfortunately, as he turned a corner, he saw the pigtailed martial artist, rather than the blue-black haired girl. "Saotome!" He growled, not noticing that the other was on all fours and stalking along a wall.

The red haired girl turned her head to the side, studying the person in front of her with eyes that seemed disconcertingly inhuman. It was only when she gracefully jumped to the ground, meowing at him questioningly, that Ryoga realized something was odd about Ranma's behavior, and since he'd never seen the Neko-ken before he wasn't sure what.

"Stop playing around, Ranma!" He barked.

For a moment, he thought that the redhead had obliged that request, as she dashed towards him. That was, of course, until she pounced, knocking him backwards due to complete surprise, and began to nuzzle his face. "What are you doing?" He demanded, but she merely replied with a happy purr.

"Hey, get the hell off of… what are you doing to my clothes? Gah!"

HR.

All over the Nerima district, several women blinked rapidly as a cloud seemed to fade from their consciousnesses. Wandering the streets, Nabiki Tendo blinked, wondering why it was she wanted to find Ryoga Hibiki. Thinking that he owed her money, she shrugged and decided that she would get it out of him later.

On her way back to her restaurant, Ukyo Kuonji wondered why she'd gotten into a fight with Shampoo over that jackass Ryoga, especially since it had caused a dent in her favorite spatula.

On her own way home, a forlorn and drenched cat smacked herself in the head for losing sight of her goal of capturing her Airen for some other outsider male, and wondered what was wrong with her, and in the kitchen of the Tendo home, Kasumi stopped half way through drawing little piglets into the batter of her latest batch of cookies, and shook her head slightly.

HR.

Ranma woke to the sensation of being nestled comfortably against something warm and soft. Also, she felt quite lethargic, and as if a tension that had been part of her for a long time had somehow been let go. For a moment, she considered just laying there and enjoying the feeling of total relaxation, but then remembered what had happened the last time she'd been curled up against someone else. Namely, Akane had chased her out of bed with a Shinai, and the warm thing had ended up being Shampoo.

Reluctantly, the young martial artist forced her eyes open, her vision almost completely obfuscated by something yellow and black. Pulling back a little, she saw that the yellow and black thing was a spotted bandana. Suddenly, her lazy and relaxed feeling was brushed away, as she started to become queasy. Rolling away from her pillow, she leapt to her feet, noticing with distress that most of her clothing was just tatters. Wrapping what was left of her shirt around herself, she glared down at the lump that lay on the ground, eyes wide and petrified.

"I'm gunna die…" was all Ryoga managed to get out, before a battle aura hit him that felt roughly like being submerged in a sea of VERY angry Akanes.

"Ryoga… no….": She whispered, then finished off in a bellow of rage, "BAKAAAAAAA!!!!!"

HR.

"Hey, Akane, did you just hear that?" Nabiki Tendo asked, as she walked with her sister towards Furinkan High School.

Akane nodded numbly.

END.

Omake.

"Kasumi?" Akane Tendo's startled voice rang through the room, snapping both of them out of their respective trances. Once he noticed the position he was in, however, Ryoga quickly realized why the youngest Tendo was so startled. Kasumi was currently nestled up against his side, hugging his arm and with her head resting on his shoulder.

The lost boy's brain tried to process this thought for a few moments, but failed miserably. As a result, he fell backwards to the floor, his nose bleeding copiously, and a glassy look in his eyes.

"Oh my, that isn't good." Kasumi commented, raising a hand to his cheek.

Akane nodded, still very much confused. "Um, sis, what happened?"

"I don't know." Kasumi replied, untangling herself from under Ryoga's arm, and quickly checking his vitals. "I'd better take him up to my room and take care of him." After saying this, she grabbed Ryoga by the back of the jacket, and started pulling.

Much to Akane's surprise, her sister did actually manage to move the massive martial artist, but she seemed to be having trouble. "Kasumi, do you want me to help you get him up there?" She offered.

"No, I'm fine." Kasumi chirped, with a soft giggle that seemed just a little bit off, before disappearing around the corner into the front hall.


End file.
